The Ever-Evolving World Through Her Eyes


Beautiful AUB
April 1, 2008, 2:51 pm
Filed under: lebanon

Written about a month ago:

I was at AUB today and the world was beautiful. At least my world. My camera flickered, this dsc_0714.jpgangle, this lighting, over here, and there get that. But it was when I put my camera away that sweet nectar filled my lungs and kissed the inside of my body. I was so busy trying to capture the essence of beauty, that beauty had almost eluded me. As if I could just capture the Image for all time, mount it on paper as a hunter mounts a deer, or as to seal this fragrance in a jar.

While my day was busily beautiful it remains a horror for Gaza, as over 100 Palestinians, mostly civilians, were killed since this past Wednesday. Although the fighting has ceased for the ‘peace’ talks to commence, the Israeli government assures us this is only a respite. At AUB, my school, students wore Hata’s in support, of the victims in Gaza. It was the first time that I saw the dead and mourners on the news, as children, mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters cried with a ferocity that ate at the insides of their bodies, a pain so overwhelming the body and brain do not know what to do. It was strange to see this as I sat pretty comfortably in Beirut, only few miles away. I didn’t know whether to be grateful for the images I saw to truly know the abhorrence of what is happening, or to be upset for the mourners and the dead to have not only lost their lives or the loved ones but to have lost dignity, so that we could have understanding.

And what does this mean for the Lebanese? In 2006 you’ll remember that Israel had launched a huge offensive in Gaza before waging its thirty-day war in Lebanon. Many people speak of war in its inevitability, not if, but when, all with mixed emotions. Surprisingly some young Lebanese, look to the ‘incoming’ war with a tainted bitter-sweet taste. Bitter in the anger that festers in every cell of your body, sweet in the concrete identification of who the enemy is, of where that anger is directed. As stated in my previous post, of overcoming divisions, Lebanon is detrimentally divided, pointing fingers and unable to let go of the past. Let’s face it, letting go of a past that harrowing is not that easy.

But what about the families that are just struggling to get by, that just want to see their children grow up. It’s not something, I feel that any government, institution, or organization has the right to jeopardize, or rather completely cast aside.

What is right in a society on the edge of war, either between each other or against Israel? Where does one find the answers of right and wrong when everything contradicts itself here? For example, there is effectively no government still, as the elections for president have yet again been post-poned, and parliament has not met in over a year. However, the country still operates, people go to school and work, they go out, celebrate, take service’s and eat ice cream. I’m not so sure that most places would be able to function as well as Beirut and Lebanon does.

Even then, functionality is timed by the ticks of the clock each day as we move further into the inevitability.

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